I had a lot of hopes for Woody Allen's latest film Vicky Christina Barcelona. It was fun, but forgettable and a hugely wasted opportunity.
Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) are two friends who after graduating college are spending a summer in Barcelona with family friend Judy (Patricia Clarkson). A narrator (Christopher Evan Welch) who sounded like David Hyde Pierce narrating The Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human (why do I know this?) crossed with a little Matthew Broderick, tells us that Vicky and Christina are opposites. Vicky is a Type A planner and engaged. Christina is a bohemian free spirit.
They soon meet artist Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem) who recently broke up with his wife, Maria Elena (Penélope Cruz) another artist who was a bit unstable and stabbed him. Juan Antonio approach Vicky and Christina in a bar, invites them to his villa for a threesome. Of course Vicky is appalled and Christina is interested. The story takes some turns and then Maria Elena shows up and it takes more turns.
Three things bothered me about this film. First off is the narration, it doesn't stop after the first scene. It seemed like every scene was narrated to the point that the acting was superfluous. The narrator tells us what happens, the film doesn't show us. There was just no need for it and I don't know why Allen used it. It worked in Little Children, it doesn't work here.
The second is that for a film about threesomes involving these gorgeous people, it was entirely unerotic. It wasn't even romantic. I don't recall any erotic scenes that Allen has done, not for laughs that is. This should have been and I don't even think he attempted to do so. Maybe the narrator was his way of avoiding it. Whenever I got emotionally involved in the story, the narrator came back to remind me I was watching a movie.
I've read a few things about how well he used Barcelona and that the film was a travelogue. I've been to Barcelona and I wasn't impressed by this presentation. Woody show some quick shots of Gaudi's masterworks: Sagrada Família, La Pedrera, and Park Güell and things are sets in gorgeous homes and villas. In spite of the fact that they said Vicky majored in Catalan Identity (whatever that is) they kept talking about people speaking Spanish. One of the first things I learned about Barcelona was that they don't speak Spanish but Catalan (which is closer to French). And I think all visitors are a little surprised that they eat dinner at 10 or 11 pm. Add to it the common movie practicalities that all roads are empty and I didn't get any sense of the place.
I also had problems with the acting. I didn't recognize Hall from her role as Christian Bale's wife in The Prestige and I'm surprised to learn she's British, because didn't detect an accent at all. But I didn't buy the performance. Same with Johansson who's pretty but dull, I didn't even like her wardrobe. I've liked her in some other films but not here. And it didn't help that in a few scenes both of these women seemed to do Woody Allen impersonations. Even the usually wonderful Clarkson was barely used and was stiff in the early scenes before getting a little better in some later ones. Bardem and Cruz were the only ones that managed to find a fully fleshed out character in the script (I'm not sure where) and show it on screen. Both bring life to the film and their bilingual fights are a lot of fun. I didn't believe Cruz's character was a "genius" painter, exceptional pianist, photographer, etc. though it was probably more of the scripts fault. The only thing she wasn't an expert at was aiming. Still without these two, the film would not be worth seeing.
Perhaps the major problem was that I didn't even find it particularly funny. The funniest part of the film might be the MPAA rating: PG-13 for mature thematic material involving sexuality and smoking. Amusing is probably the right word, but I had a hard time figuring out the point. It's not a love letter to Barcelona, a character study, about the nature of love or a comedy. So a pleasant diversion? Maybe. I think it needed more focus.
* Minor Spoilers *
In the beginning the narrator brings up in the opening description of Vicky and Christina that their primary difference is how they view love. Given the title and prominence of this we might be led to believe that this is the point of the film, but as we see it unfold in the film, neither is quite what they say. Are they maturing? Experimenting? is that good? Seemingly not. Juan Antonio is perhaps refreshingly upfront, but ultimately is a user (clearly with Vicky). Maria Elena is consistent and selfish. Maybe the point was their tumultuous relationship? But it's not at all clear what missing magic Christina brought to it. Judy is there merely to say a loveless marriage is a waste.
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