In the June 15, 2010 Crypto-Gram, Bruce Schneier announced the Fifth Annual Movie-Plot Threat Contest Winner. "Your task, ye Weavers of Tales, is to create a fable of fairytale suitable for instilling the appropriate level of fear in children so they grow up appreciating all the lords do to protect them." The winner...
The Gashlycrumb Terrors, by Laura
A is for anthrax, deadly and white.
B is for burglars who break in at night.
C is for cars that have minds of their own
and accelerate rapidly in a school zone.
D is for dynamite lit with a fuse.
E is for everything we have to lose.
F is for foreigners, different and strange.
G is for gangs and the crimes they arrange.
H is for hand lotion, more than three ounces;
let's pray some brave agent soon sees it and pounces.
I is for implants (I'll explain when you're older).
J is for jokers who only grow bolder.
K is for kids who aren't afraid
to play in the park or drink lemonade.
L is for lead in our toys and our food.
M is for Mom's cavalier attitude.
N is for neighbors -- you never can tell:
is that a book club or terrorist cell?
O is for ostrich, with head in the sand.
P is for plots to blow up Disneyland.
Q is for those who would question authorities.
R is for radical sects and minorities.
S is for satanists, who have been seen
to give children razor blades on Halloween.
T is for terrorists, by definition.
U is for uncensored acts of sedition.
V is for vigilance, our leaders' tool
for keeping us safe, both at home and at school.
W is for warnings with colors and levels.
X is for xraying bags at all revels.
Y is for you! So don't be a dope.
Z is for zero tolerance, our finest hope.
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